Funeral Poem by Marilyn McIntyre

Funeral

somber, muted, hushed

soft sobbing the music

hellos and sadness

family to the left

bikers to the right

children screaming silently

crushed by the shere weight of the crime

a man who left too early

signing a name

leaving a mark

i was here

you weren’t

well

they’re not taking me fuckin alive

i go kicking and screaming

clawing at life

inhaling beauty

grasping armfuls of love

clasping it to my breast

howling in agony

for any opportunity missed

material, burned and scorched

by my breath

my words dangling from clouds

riding the thermals on hawk wings

no tombstone –

memories

remarks

deeds done

laughter passed

love given

arms not somberly folded

but spread wide as the smile not erased

for every moment stolen

mark These words on my life

she lived

she lived

till the last goddamned second

she infinitely lives.

Suicide

if you had to go

i understand

you hurt, i heal

questions eat my heart

coffins hold no soul

moon slivered in a cold summer sky

stars shimmer and have you now

peacefulness your song

i, empty sky

were you trying to live someone elses life

dream others’ dreams

eat too much of the good life

all around you propaganda

filling your ears with pus and gore

family, obligations

these were blessings

not a sign to die

someone has to eat the shit

and spit out flowers

stop the stones from the glass houses

why me.

You never crossed the emotional line

We were such good friends

You called

I answered the phone

You told me on Christ’s birthday

You were leaving

I closed my ears and couldn’t hear you

You never called again

I have an answering machine

Clean, clinical, messages

You’re never there.

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